I think we all agree that each and every one of us is different in his/her own way, and this difference has many shapes, and it differs within itself throughout our lifetime. We are meant to be like that after all, we have different personalities, backgrounds, standards, and cultures.
If we know this fact deep down, then why do we keep judging those whom have different aspects of things from ours? If siblings who are raised in the same home by the same parents are different, by which logic you and I who are complete strangers are meant to be the same? Isn’t knowing these facts should be opposing the current act of judgement among us? Then why do we keep on doing this?
Unfortunately, some of us -if not the most- have been raised to a specific standards, to what’s right and what’s wrong, what’s acceptable and what’s not, who’s good and who’s bad, leaving everything to white and black forgetting that the world is full of colors! Full of variances that we are supposed to enjoy and learn from. We are supposed to know more about them rather than keeping our distance, we are supposed to blend with them and share our uniqueness. We are supposed to learn by looking through their windows, where they definitely have different window views that can be sometimes the exact opposite of ours. I am not blaming any parent in here, for it is their absolute right to keep their children safe in this world where safety issues are growing. I am only stating what I think are facts that caused this act.
To a specific level, I don’t deny how spontaneously judging can be, where the first step of it is normal. If it wasn’t as normal as it is, then the metaphorical phrase “Don’t judge a book by its cover” wouldn’t exist! So we all judge after all, not necessarily from how we look and dress up, but from our actions and mentality. You won’t see a person walking down the street wearing a space suit sipping his coffee thinking this is normal! You’d think he is preparing for something, or just out of his mind! It is ok, but don’t overdo your confusion and go too far.
No matter how open minded you think you are, there is this spark of judgement flame that can hardly be tamed. So go ahead and welcome the first spark, for it is natural, but then stop right there! Don’t let it cloud the other’s true identity, and affect your look and actions towards that person, where many have regretted their first impression of someone whom later on became too close to them!
Our inner judgementalist wasn’t born out of no where, it was born in our childhood and started to grow from then, and this is why I find it really substantial to plant accepting our differences in early stages.
What concerns me is how this has nourished the fear of change itself, or of revealing and sharing the change that took place within. The fear of being judged for doing what you want, and what you believe is right must evaporate and vanish! When someone’s inner judgementalist has made it hard for another to reveal something that would make him/her at ease, then it is called an act of injustice! If we stand still and do nothing then we are giving permission for others feelings to be suppressed and buried; therefore relationships will be weakened instead of being strengthened.
I would love to ask you my friend to help me in stopping our inner judgementalists from not welcoming our opposites and enjoy life with all its variations.
Have an amazingly variance relationships my friends!