Life doesn’t work the way we want it to, no matter how hard you’ve tried to get something that wasn’t meant to be yours, it just won’t work.
Not from a pessimistic point of view, nor a hateful one I’m writing you those words, but this realization came somehow late to me.
I used to think that everything is doable, achievable, and within our hands if we just did whats right and what needs to be done to fulfill it. Unfortunately, this is not how it works. We surely have to do our best when working to achieve a goal, but must not be its slave at any point! Being a slave means that it occupies your thoughts more than it should, it depresses you when you fail to reach it, and puts your self-trust far away just when you need it the most.
I used to be a perfectionist when it comes to my dreams and short term goals (i.e. didn’t have that much of long term ones), where everything I want has to be reached according to my own plans, and whenever things went out of control I would get into a complete mood of depression for a while, wondering what have I done wrong, and I was always certain it was my fault. Gladly I grew out of this way of thinking not a while ago, but still learning to let go.
When I was in high school, the only option I thought I had was to get into medical school to follow the dream, and god only knew who’s dream was it. Information technology wasn’t on my list at all! I loathed it to be honest, and had the worst background about it, and yet I majored in it. Unexpected transitions in your plans might be for your own good, just like what happened in my case, I never thought I’ll enjoy my major as much as I do now.
Whilst everyone is believing that you must lead your life, your life actually leads you too. They are two parallel lines that’ll never be crossed, and all your life’s events are dotted in parallel on both lines, and you will be the one in the middle. You are the train between the rails, one that’s under your control and the other controlling you, and you are the one responsible to follow them both.
Work for your dream and do your best, but beware to surrender to it, for it’ll destroy you if it wasn’t meant for you.
Architectural Engineering was never meant for me, yet it was once my dream..